I'll write the story but I think for this one I will let you deduce your own meaning because I have several in my head and I don't want to get in God's way.
I was sitting at the bus stop playing with a dollar bill while I waited. I wasn't really praying or meditating or even thinking, mostly I was just sitting there. I unfolded the bill and inscribed on one side were the words "May God Bless You" in plain black ink. I smiled. This is one of those moments when you realize that God is "kissing" you softly, it's like one of those chocolate mints on a pillow or some other tiny gesture that offers great amounts of love. Even as I smiled, I felt God say "let it go." I didn't want to let it go! He gave it to me! Besides who just throws money on the ground?!?! Then God said it again, this time with a puff of wind to encourage the point. I did not want to let it go. I argued and whined and resisted. I felt like one of my two year olds looking up at me with those shiny eyes saying "mine." Then after much internal wrestling I opened my hand expecting the wind to snatch the money from my hand. It didn't. I sat there waiting... perhaps God was just making sure I was really letting the money go, perhaps it was a test of obedience. Regardless, it was minutes before the wind blew it out of my hand, and then when it did, the dollar landed at my feet. In fact, when I got on the bus it was still there.
Make of it what you will, but after letting the dollar go, after walking away from it... I felt lighter. Part of me imagines that someone else will find that dollar and they will read that note and they will smile and one way or another they will pass the dollar on. I don't know how God will use that dollar... maybe someone will use it to buy drugs or alcohol, or maybe someone will buy food for their hungry family with it, or maybe it will be donated to an orphanage or some save the whales foundation. I don't know if I was doing someone a favor or if I was helping someone in their habit, and I will never know. But that is part of the lightness. It isn't my responsibility or even in my realm of control to know or do anything about that dollar. I let it go and now, for better or for worse, it's all up to God.
I don't know what the dollar represents for you, be it figural or literal, but heres my advice: whatever your dollar is, let it go. God might not take it from you right away, He might wait and ask for your patience and obedience, but keep your hand open. When he does take it, it will be a very freeing experience!
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