Step Twenty-Nine: Subtle Love

Dear Readers,

Love. This is an interesting and often cheesy subject, one that can certainly not be discussed in depth in a single entry. This is just one face of a many facetted jewel. 

What is love? This is a very broad question but I like thinking about the bigger picture. What is a love story? The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, Romeo and Juliet, Pride and Prejudice, Pocohantas... yes. These are all fantastic stories of lovers. But are there other love stories? What about Friends, My Sister's Keeper, Harry Potter, Eragon, or The Blind Side? We love our spouses, we love our friends, families, siblings, children, parents, teachers, mentors. We even love our pets. Love permeates our society, even as evil and hatred seem to prevail. Love is a culture's blood, it binds them, makes them stronger. But it is also subtle. Like our own blood, it moves beneath the surface, mostly forgotten. We become aware of this blood when it comes gushing out, perhaps when our own heart's are broken and wounded, other times when we are in the midst of celebration, and still other's when we become excited and we feel our heart's throbbing with excitement and the blood rushing to our head. 

I tried to find a definition of love. Tried to find some means to explain or control it. At first, I thought "love is an emotion, a feeling" but is that love? There is a quote from The Good Wife that got me thinking that love isn't always an emotion, Alicia says "reciting poetry is easy, it's parent teacher conferences that are hard." Feelings are fleeting and temporary. So then I thought "love must be an action then." Yes we do indeed show our love through actions, whether we have baked our friend a birthday cake, held children as they cry, or made soup for our sick grandmother. I cannot deny that both action and feeling must both be a part of love. James said show me your faith without deeds and I will show you my faith through my actions. Is it not the same for love? If you claim to love someone, but never act through your love, do you really love them? But what about this love? What of the love that occurs between a missionary and the orphans they teach? What of the love that occurs between soldiers? What of the love between a stranger holding open a door? Of two people working together for a cause? I guess I came to the conclusion that I have no definition for love but that doesn't stop us from knowing it, from recognizing it, when we look for it. 

This brings us to our point. Love surrounds us, it enfolds us. Both the love of our friends and the love of our God. There is no escaping it. But it is subtle. It moves beneath the surfaces of our relationships. We must open our eyes to see it. So start looking. 

Step Twenty-Eight: A Pessimist's Gift

Dear Reader,

In order to understand this blog, you must understand two things about me. The first is that I tend to be more of a pessimist. I approach all situations looking for that which is flawed, after I've identified those flaws I am usually able to move forward and experience that which is good in a situation. I also have a tendency of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting to see what will go wrong next. Now the second thing is a bit of a paradox. I have the gift of encouragement. Have you ever heard of an encouraging pessimist? I haven't either. Once more, I find myself astounded by the fact that God truly does have a sense of humor, but I don't just think God made me an encouraging pessimist to be the butt of a joke. I believe that God has bigger things in mind.

For starters, I believe the existence of such paradoxes are evidence of Him. Think about it. God and the world exist on parallel fields. If it does not belong to God, it belongs to the world. If it does not belong to the world, it belongs to God. (It is imperative that you understand that the Devil governs the world). If things went according to the "natural" or "normal" way (meaning that I would either be a discouraging pessimist or an encouraging optimist), we can assume that this is the way of the world. So when the "abnormal" comes along (a discouraging optimist or an encouraging pessimist), we can also assume that this is evidence of some outside force which influences us, forcing us away from our original states of being. (Think of metals, their natural state of being is not in the shape of a car. Some outside force had to come along and shape it to be a car). But, alas, God does not need me to prove His existence. Perhaps there is a far more personal reason for such paradoxes...

I believe that people are usually some combination of their environment and their own personal growth. My pessimism is undoubtedly a product of the life experiences I have experienced and the techniques I've seen used in these experiences. My gift of encouragement is probably a testament to the growth the Lord has done in me and my own choices in allowing and obeying Him. The interesting thing, though, is that many times I feel that my pessimism does not hinder my encouragement, rather it strengthens it. As if, having lived in discouragement, it gives my words merit and strength. 

Anyways, the point of this blog entry: life is full of paradoxes. Look for them, see what you can learn from them. Take their lessons and live them out. Let them fill your life to the brim with all that is good and joyful, because that is the only life worth living.

Step Twenty-Seven: A Teacher's Influence

Dear Readers,

Let's do some math (yes, I really did just write that): A teacher spends roughly 7 hours a day with children for roughly 12 years of their life. The average school year consists of at least 180 instructional days. So a very conservative estimate is that a student from first grade until their senior year will spend 15,000 hours with teachers. Throw in preschool, kindergarden, and 4 undergraduate years and your talking 23,000 hours. And that is for one student. (Yes, I realize that my calculations do not account for sick/snow/substitute days or for a changing schedule with changing teachers). The only other person who puts in those kinds of hours are the parents. Teachers are, without question, one of the most impacting people on a child's life. In fact, I would be willing to bet a tidy little sum that almost anyone in a given room could name a teacher who played an influential role in their life, negative or positive. 

I have probably been blessed – I have had some pretty amazing teachers, teachers who have counseled, coached, guided, and advised me. So here is a shout out to my Rockstar English teacher, my Spanish teacher, my Spanish friend, my coach, my history teacher, my history-teacher-turned-counselor, my counselors, my math teachers, and the English teacher who first suggested a career in teaching. Thank you. Thanks to all of you. For the countless hours and endless encouragement. 

What I've learned under their influence:

1. Acceptance. Acceptance of others and acceptance of myself. We are all different. Our stories, hobbies, struggles, talents, feelings, and opinions are all uniquely our own. No one can claim to be just like us. Sometimes that fact makes relating to others difficult but it is a truly beautiful thing. Sometimes, we can't walk a mile in someone else's shoes but that doesn't change the fact that the person filling those shoes is our fellow human being. They are who they are. We have to learn to celebrate that fact because we all need to be celebrated. This brings me to my second point – we ought to celebrate ourselves too. I know high school is theoretically a self discovery process, but I think we are constantly discovering ourselves, it is a lifetime adventure. In high school though, there is this under-rooted shame in who we are. What if we were wonderfully and beautifully crafted? Can you just imagine this? Young girls look in the mirror and they smile an ear to ear smile because they think "I am beautiful. I am perfect. I don't need to change my hair or clothes or smile or makeup or weight. I am perfect because I am me." Yet, if we say that there actually is something we like about ourselves, we're made to feel guilty for being "vain." Goodness, who knew that such a self-centered society could be so humble? Let's redefine what it means to be vain, let's redefine what it means to be humble, but most of all, let's start embracing who we are. Let's learn to accept who we are flaws and all, because only after we have learned to accept ourselves will we learn how to accept others. 

2. Grace. Give it abundantly and receive it abundantly too. Fact of life 101: kids mess up. They are kids. In fact, messing up is actually a vital part of the whole growing up process. Kids are constantly making mistakes and learning from them. High schoolers are no different (okay maybe the whole constant learning thing is a bit of a stretch...). Human beings are no different. But somewhere in that awkward transition from childhood to adult hood we stop seeing mistakes for what they are: lessons. We are ashamed of our imperfections, our complete inability to "get it right" and in that shame, we hide. (Think of Adam and Eve after eating the fruit, when God calls for them, they hide). If we don't possess the ability to forgive ourselves and others freely, without belittling or guilting, we limit God's ability to teach us. When we belittle or guilt ride ourselves, we hide, we close our ears and wish upon a shooting star that our mistake will slip quietly beneath the rug. We're the little kid in the grocery store with our hands in our ears screaming at the top of our lungs "LA LA LA LA LA LA" because we are so afraid of what God and others will have to say. But when we receive grace, when we accept that we made a mistake and that there is something yet to be learned, then we become receptive to the lessons that error has to teach us. 

I could go on for ages on the many things my teachers have taught me but here it is in one cliche statement: 

You cannot live a bold life without tolerance, love and grace. 

p.s. more on grace later. 

Step Twenty-Six: The Beauty of Helplessness

Dear Readers, 

I know this is hard to grasp but run with me for a minute.

I was standing off to the side – observing, not participating. It registered somewhere in the back of my mind that I should take a seat, but I couldn't bring myself to sit. More specifically, I couldn't bring myself to determine who to sit with. I'm acutely aware that I belong to neither group. So I stand and watch. When she sees me, she smiles and her whole face changes. There was no doubt in my mind that she was genuinely happy to see me. She hugs me and says good morning. At some point I realize that she isn't going to walk away and we link hands. Then we are hugging again, this time without end. I rest my head on her shoulder and let myself collapse. She is so gentle and comforting and my heart is weary from all the beating it's been doing. I become helpless, vulnerable, weak even. In this moment, just staying upright is an effort. Then she begins to sing. My heart and soul quiet gradually. I stop to breath for the first time in a long time. Her voice soothes me, comforts me, encourages me – a mothers lullaby. This is one of those time-freezing moments. 

Through my helplessness, through my complete inability to control anything in my life, not even my emotions, I got a chance to experience something beautiful, something redeeming, with a friend. There is a beauty in helplessness. In falling apart entirely and needing someone else. There is this tender act of love exchanged in dependency. One that reassures our hearts and blesses our friends. 

Here is my simple truth: you cannot do this alone. You have no control, and thank God for that! When we have no control we make room for helplessness and, as contrary as it may seem, in relinquishing control, we make room for beauty. 

Step Twenty-Five: Learning to Laugh at God's Irony

Dear Readers, 

Yes, I know, I have encouraged you to laugh more on several occasions (I'm hoping that my repetitive-ness will reveal how very important laughter is to a bold life) however this one is different, in a way. 

So I was babysitting for a new "client" last night. Early in the day, I asked her if I would be making dinner that night. She told me that she would have pizzas ready to go. We then proceeded on to joke that she is a slave driver and that I would be scrubbing bio-hazardous waste out of her toilets (don't ask me how we got to that topic). It was highly entertaining, at the time. But, oh, the irony of God. 

The kids were just finishing their pizza when one of them came rushing in. Yep, you guessed it, the toilet flooded. Now, you would think that I would have predicted this, given the massive amounts of foreshadowing, but more often than not, I don't read my life  like a book and I miss those subtle hints. However, God's message wasn't lost on me. 

Let's just be perfectly honest here, sometimes stuff happens. It just does. Toilet's flood, kids throw up, poopy diapers get thrown (by the way, all of these things have happened to me on babysitting gigs). We can be frustrated and angry and ticked off that life happens this way, or we can learn to laugh at the irony of it. I cannot say I was happy mopping up toilet water, but it did make me laugh. How ironic and humorous is our God that He would foreshadow a flooded toilet? God's a comedian and life's a whole heck of a lot more entertaining when we laugh at His jokes! 

Step Twenty-Four: Lose the 'Tude, Dude!

Dear Readers, 

I say this to my brother all the time when he is angry. It makes him laugh, nullifying his anger. It wasn't until the other night when my brother said the same thing to me that I realized we all have attitudes we probably need to ditch. I thought an example might be useful in this situation... and more specifically I thought I would share with you the 'tude I needed to lose last night. 

So I had a fantastic day Thursday! I say this with no hint of sarcasm, no double meaning. It truly was fantastic! My mentor/teacher and I got to sit down and organize her filing cabinet (which to the normal person is a complete drag but I totally enjoy) and we got to talk and laugh and just be with one another. Then I got to have coffee with... well in essence she is my second big sister. In blood, she isn't, but in all things that matter, she is. It was fantastic! We had coffee and we talked and talked and talked and I got to meet her puppy (he is gorgeous)! I went to one of my mentee's talent shows smiling! Then my little one knocks it out of the park with a beautiful song that she not only performed but that she wrote herself! You could accurately label me "impressed." I walked out of her school thinking "Wow God! Did you know how much you have blessed that girl?!?" In fact, it was the kind of day when you can't help but think "God you have surrounded me by beauty, you spoil me so very much, and it delights my heart! You are captivating and simply amazing!" 

And then I came home. My mom was tired and, as is sometimes inevitable for all of us, she decided to take this exhaustion on me. I had asked if we could go to the store to get some dinner and she responded in turn with a snappy comment. Now if you have ever had a really good day only to encounter someone who totally brings you down, you understand how quickly I responded in turn. It truly is like someone poking a hole in your balloon. However, as we spent more time together (and my balloon grew more deflated) my responses became more and more hostile. Then my responses towards my sister and brother also became hostile, until finally my brother said "lose the 'tude, dude." 

You've probably heard this before but let's reiterate it: you can't control what (or who) happens to you, you can only control you and what your attitude will be. We all have good days, bad days, and good days gone bad but we cannot use this as an excuse anymore. I want you to think about this, does having a bad attitude really make your life any better? Or does it proceed to make you more miserable? Does it improve the lives of those around you? Living a bold life means that you have to proactively remove those attitudes that make you miserable. So lose the 'tudes, dudes and let life begin!

Step Twenty-Three: Faith, It's a Choice.

Dear Readers,

Being a member of the Speech and Debate team, it can be said that arguing comes pretty naturally to me. When I was younger, before my spiritual transformation, I argued against faith. I was all about the facts. I'd say "sure Jesus existed but what proof do you have that he rose?" and every time somebody would answer with the only truthful answer a person can give to that question "Faith" I would lose it. What kind of response was that? That wasn't factual proof? Were they idiots? Fools? Faith is the blind man's crutch, I'd say. You see, I thought this meant that faith enabled the blind to continue stumbling onwards, or that it was a characteristic of the ignorant. 

Now, I wonder if my interpretation was incorrect. I mean, logically, the walking stick of a blind man is not the source of his blindness. In fact, a blind man's walking stick is, in fact, his eyes. And while I understand the literary symbolism of blindness being ignorance, I think that literature analysis's have it all wrong. It seems, to me, that those who are blind must have a heightened sensitivity to the world around them in order to compensate for such a loss. C.S. Lewis's description of faith seems a far more accurate stance – "I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun has risen, not only because I see it but because by it I see everything else." But this is for you to figure out, not for me to argue. 

The point of this blog then... when things are really hard, it is tempting and easy to lose perspective and to grow angry with God, to lose faith. Believe me, I say this with no judgement, for I am a hypocrite in even writing this. However this is the beauty of Christianity. When God gave Adam and Eve the chance to choose Him over the fruit, He gave humanity free will. This free will is not just true for whether or not we will follow Him, but it is also true for if we will continue to follow Him. If you have ever read or seen Harry Potter you can understand this idea. Time after time, Harry offer's Ron and Hermione the chance to turn back, to stop tagging along. God is constantly offering us the chance to turn around. And when things get hard, when we must bear our own cross, when we get scared, or meet the unknown it is beyond tempting not to drop your cross and run. But we do have a second option. A second, glorious and beautiful option. We can choose to follow Him. We can choose to delight Him. I want you to think about that for a minute. You can delight the heart of the Divine Spirit. Can you envision such delight? Have you experienced it? If you haven't, I can hardly explain it to you. It would be like a child trying to explain the excitement of Christmas to another child who has never heard of Christmas. Try to envision a time in which you gave someone something truly amazing, imagine the look on their face and how it made you feel and then multiply that by about 20 billion. But alas, I digress. My point is, in those struggles, in those hard times we have a choice. We can walk away from our faith or we can stick with it. But it is far more than that. We can also choose to obey and trust God, or not. 

See the beautiful thing about faith is that you can choose to have faith in whatever you would like. It doesn't make it right, or wrong. It just is. You get to choose. I'm sure you can see the choice I'm attempting to live out. You, however, have your own choice to make. So make it, own it, live it. 

Step Twenty-Two: Gear Up

Dear Readers,

Things have been really hard for me, as of late. I have felt so utterly discouraged... it is like I have come so close and everything in the world is fighting against me, fighting to keep me where I am. What I didn't realize that, that is exactly what has been happening. Let me explain...

I was watching The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe and there was one scene that stuck out to me. Aslan has just topped the crest of a precipice overlooking the battle that Peter and Edmund are fighting. He (Aslan) has risen from the dead. Now, Peter is fighting the White Witch, trying to avenge Edmund, who lies dying on the wayside. Aslan let's out this earth shaking roar and all who do battle stop to look up at him. The witch sees him and something changes in her demeanor. You can see fear in her face, but then she mutters "impossible" and as she turns back to battle Peter, there is desperation and skill in her attack. Before this moment, the Witch seems mildly entertained... but now, now she is pissed off and she wants blood. Why? She has seen Aslan's return, she sees her own dwindling forces, and she sees the reinforcements that Aslan has brought. She can do the math. She can see that she will lose but she has already (or so she thinks) murdered Edmund, and she will do her best to take out Peter as well. She is determined to destroy Peter's destiny, and with him, Aslan's plan. Every swing of her blade is calculated and deadly. She becomes a force of reckoning with extreme skill and fatal precision, and Peter cannot keep up. It seems hopeless. Aslan will win his war but he has lost Peter. The witch has Peter's sword arm pinned to the ground, she has ripped his shield from his hand and he is entirely at her mercy. Then as she levels her sword towards his throat, ready to make the final cut she looks up for an instance, looking for Aslan, as if to say "haha I win!" and Aslan pounces on her. 

So how does it apply to me? The victory of my life, of my soul, has already been proclaimed from the crest of the precipices of my life. Jesus has returned from the dead for me, He has brought me reinforcements. My war is won. But my battle is not over yet. Instead I am being forced to fight harder, fight longer, fight with more skill and accuracy, fight with more at stake. See now the devil is attacking me with deadly precision and supreme skill. He is crafty and sly. But above all else, the devil is determined to stop, to murder, to destroy me. God has raised his trumpets to proclaim his victory, Jessup is within reach. But now, now it is a fight to the finish. The devil is throwing everything he can at me to keep me from fulfilling the greatness God has planned for me. My only comfort is that while God may well allow me to be pinned, to reach the very brink of my breaking point, but He will pounce on my enemy when it comes time. He will not let me or my destiny be destroyed, so long as I am fighting, He too will fight. 

Here is the harsh reality of our world: our war has indeed been won. We need not doubt this fact. It was won the minute God blessed a virgin with his child, the minute his son chose to be the sacrificial lamb, the minute he gaspingly exclaimed "it is finished", the minute He returned to Earth. Our war is won, but our battle is not. We are under siege. The devil is fighting us with an unseen level of desperation and hatred. We cannot give up yet. We cannot stop fighting. Instead let us arm ourselves, let us prepare for the fight of our lifetime. 

Step Twenty-One: Lessons Learned At McDonald's

Dear Readers,

I met my friend and her two daughters at a McDonald's, and wowsers did I learn a lot! 

1. Use your manners. Okay, so I actually learned this on the bus on the way there... and unlike the majority of the rest of these lessons, this was taught by a high school boy. We were pulling up to a stop where a woman in a wheel chair was waiting with (this is an assumption) her husband. While those sitting in the front grumbled about having to move, and shifted their stuff no body remembered to lift the seats so the woman in the wheel chair could sit. That is when this teenage boy jumped forward and lifted the seats. It was a tiny, self-less act observed only by his friends and myself, yet it gave me hope. As if, this boy's kind gesture said that all is not yet lost in this generation!
2. Be your friendly neighborhood spider-man. When this three year old boy walked in wearing cowboy boots and a spider-man costume, I smiled. What a cutie! However, it was far cuter that he proceeded to "save" all of the girls. The girls, of course, paid him no attention and joyfully ran around playing, and following them was the fearless mini-spidey. Jumping and rolling and pursuing whatever monstrous thing was after them! He was so fearless, so sure of his own ability to save these girls who wanted nothing to do with him! (Hmmm that isn't anything at all like God). I want to be like that little boy. I want to chase fearlessly after that which haunts my friends. I want to pray for them endlessly, and fight on their behalf's relentlessly. I want to be the friendly, neighborhood, spider-man in my own community. 
3. Hug big – really, really, really big. So my friend's daughters are pretty stinking cute! While mom and the older sister went to order ice cream, the little one walked over to me. I picked her up and sat her in my lap, and she wrapped her arms around my neck and squeezed me as tight as a two year old could! I squeezed back. We stayed that way for a good two minutes and then she sat back and I said "you give really good hugs!" And she smiled and said "yeah!" We all need really good hugs now and then, so let's stop with half-hearted one armed hugs and let's squeeze each other tight! If we're offering ourselves in greeting or in comfort then let us offer all of ourselves, as tightly as possible! 
4. Challenge and be challenged to new heights. We are almost always capable of doing more than we think we are. My friend's younger daughter has been learning how to climb to onto these platforms, she would climb up the first two and then she'd stop. I was trying to get her to climb up to the third platform when her older sister scrambled up in front of her. The little one cried "help me sister" but the older one looked at her and said "if your coming up here your climbing up on your own." And the little one? She just climbed right on up! Sometimes we need someone to challenge us. Not in a I'm-better-than-you way but in a I-know-you-can-do-this kind of way. 

So the big lesson of today: keep your eyes and heart open, God is working all around us. 

Step Twenty: Invite Your Friends

Dear Readers,

My life has been crazy busy this week, primarily because I had a physics project due. The objective was to launch an egg carrying object, through the uprights of a field goal and as far down the field as you could. Simple, but insanely difficult. So we built a trebuchet (for those of you who don't know, this is essentially a catapult). It was hard work, especially since I have never really done much carpentry before. Anyways, we had it all built and it was time to decorate. Now, when it comes to creativity... well I can write a blog or a poem, but hand me some paint and I'm a goner. Thankfully, though, my lab partner is an art whiz, and it was so much fun painting with her... even if we did inhale more spray paint than could possibly be healthy. = )

So here it is simple and sweet: we don't have to do everything on our own. Some things we are meant to do alone, some things we are meant to do with others, and still others we have our own choice to make. It's not that it was so unpleasant painting the trebuchet, or even that it was such hard work. I could have easily done it alone, but I'm glad that my partner and I did it together. I am glad I invited her to help me out, and I am especially glad that it gave me a chance to get to know her better!

Step Nineteen: Live the Hard Stuff

Dear Readers,

I have a hard time writing this blog. Aside from the actual contents being heavy, I struggle to see how this could possibly encourage anyone... I mean when was the last time someone ran up to you and shook your hand and said "Congratulations! This next year is going to be absolute hell for you! Way to go!" It just doesn't happen, so why would I tell you to not only face the hard stuff and tackle it head on but to live and thrive in it? Alas, God doesn't always justify his requests.

I hate goodbyes. I don't know many people who do like them but I seem to have taken up a special kind of hatred. See to the majority of people, a goodbye is more like a see-ya-later... it is just assumed that you'll meet again and when you do things will still be good. (This idea that friends are forever...). However, for a select few (people like me) goodbyes are permanent. Once you have said goodbye, there is no more. That friend is gone and all you can do is cling to whatever little memories you have. It all intertwines with my trust issues, which, if you haven't figured out yet, convolute just about everything I do. Back to the point – I hate goodbyes and in the coming months I have way, way, way too many goodbyes to say. In this last week, I have said goodbye to both of my CCU friends, a very sad affair since in all likelihood, when and if they return I will be gone to California. It's heartbreaking really, because I am rather fond of these two ladies. So yesterday I met one of my friends for coffee. As our date came to an end, all I could think was "will I ever see her again?" When we hug one last time, I swear I'm about to start crying, but since I'm me... I just start walking towards the nearest bus stop. As I'm walking, I think of something a friend told me about a week ago. She had said that friends move in and out of our lives. Then I thought about my conversation with my lovely college friend and about how we talked about faith. I realized I had to make a choice to have faith that she will once more enter my life and that even if she doesn't that we have both been changed for the better for just knowing one another and that wherever our paths lie God would take care of us. It was not an easy choice to make. 

As I sat waiting for the bus, I thought back to our parting prayer together. In light of my recent decision to attend a Californian school, my mom and I have been struggling to see eye to eye and she and I were discussing this issue. When my friend prayed for me, she also lifted up the situation with my mother. If she had merely asked God to change her heart or to stop acting such-and-such a way, I would not have even blinked. Instead, my tender friend blew me out of the water by praying that God would comfort her as I leave town, that he would give her peace of mind and let her know that He is in control. Now, I knew that my mom was struggling with my leaving and that the problems had little to do with what we were actually fighting about, but it never crossed my mind to pray that God might comfort her. I was so ashamed! This was my very own mother! How could my friend see her struggle and needs so clearly while I had just dismissed them! So last night I began to pray for the situation with my mom, and this time I refused to ask God to change my situation, refused to ask him to change her heart. Instead I asked him for some perspective on what her needs were, on how I could pray in a way that would be effective... and then I waited. I have wronged my mother, definitely in these last few months (but probably longer), by not praying for her the way I ought to have. My prayers have all been so selfish and conceited, "change her for my benefit. Shape her for my wants. Me, me, me."  I need to learn to see her, see her needs and wants, see her wounds and pains and to pray accordingly. 

So how does it all connect? Whether we are physically, emotionally or spiritually challenged, we are almost always facing something hard... something we want to run from or flat out deny. It is so very tempting to run or deny these things, sometimes we don't even realize what we're doing. Maybe sometimes this is helpful for a while (like a child hiding beneath the blankets), sometimes this habit is even necessary to survive whatever it is (the good Lord knows I have hidden under many blankets) but at a certain point you stop being the child hiding and you start to become the cowering adult. We grow up, and we grow out, and we have to relinquish those blankets before we make a fool of ourselves. 

So maybe the next time you are facing a challenge (of any sort) maybe it's God tugging on the corner saying "it's time to come out now, Little One," and rather than fighting Him you should let it go. I'm not saying it is going to be so simple or so easy, I'm not even hinting that. Make no mistakes, this one is a hard one to live out. However, I rather enjoy not looking like a fool, and I rather like not disappointing the people I love, and I bet you rather enjoy these things too. So let's learn to live out the hard stuff, to lower our blankets inch by inch.