Step Fifteen: Meet Desperation

Dear Readers,

I am a huge music person. I truly believe that music is a reflection of the soul and it is absolutely necessary for me to express myself. Anyways, the other night I was feeling pretty down and out, so I put on JJ Heller (this awesome worship singer). Now normally, I just use the music to cover up the sound of my crying or to calm me down or to get my blood flowing, I cannot honestly say that I have ever "experienced" music before, or lived in the space of a 3 minute song. For whatever reason, even though I have heard her songs a million times (enough to sing Kareoke to while still being completely comfortable), when "Love Me" came on I found myself actually feeling the desperation of the chacter's whose lives she is chronicling. Perhaps my own pain enabled me to empathize, or perhaps I had never allowed my heart to listen to their tales, regardless I felt myself falling entirely apart on behalf of some generic character whose life was playing out in my speakers. As the last man sits in a jail cell crying out, begging to just go home I found myself crying, and not for the complications or pain in my life, but for his. I don't care what he has done, no man ought to be condemned to never seeing home again, to dying completely alone without a soul in the world who cares. But then, almost as if something whispers inside of me saying, "I will love you, I see everything you are, everything you have been and everything you will become and I will love you. I do love you!" Suddenly, I was over come with hope and joy. What struck me as interesting was that before any of the characters got to feel that hope and joy they had to meet desperation. 

Having experienced my fair share of both joy and desperation as of late I have come to learn a few things. The first is that no body really wants to meet desperation. Its painful, discouraging, and just not fun. In fact, most of the time I do whatever I can to avoid meeting up with desperation. I run from it. But that is my mistake. Yes, desperation is hard but we learn something in meeting desperation. The lesson is always different but it is always intentional – whether we are learning to depend on God or to obey Him. Most interesting is that I have yet to find a desperation-taught lesson that has not ended with something you can apply to joy. See the truth of the matter is, that we can know nothing about joy until we have met desperation. 

So hard as it is, the next time you meet desperation, try to resist running. He has some pretty powerful lessons for you and when its time to meat joy again it will make your reunion that much better!!! 

Attached is a URL for "Love Me" by JJ Heller http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nG7SPCVkKyY