I'm messed up in relationships. I am. It isn't really an intentional thing... more of a fallen world thing. I'm needy, overly-emotional, overly-sensitive, chronically insecure, in general I'm "too much". Of course, I'll tell you I'm all of this when we become friends. I promise you that I will mess up (because I will), I promise you I'll annoy you (because I will), I promise you I will not be perfect. But I will love you.
For the first time tonight I realized how beautiful this gift is. Being friends with me... it's going to be complicated and confusing. But I love you. This is a fact, a permanent, unchanging fact. I may doubt you love me but I will never ever stop loving you. It's kind of an addiction (a healthy kind). I couldn't stop myself if I wanted to... because the truth is once you've penetrated my heart... I can't get you out of it. I may withdraw, I may ignore, I may even bare my teeth when I've been hurt. (Again – I'm messed up in relationships! ) But my love for you... it isn't going anywhere.
It's amazing how much of ourselves we take for granted. How quick we are to dismiss in ourselves what we love about others. It took hearing from a friend that her love is unchanging before I realized what a precious quality that is. It took admiring it in her before I realized in spite of all my mess I have that quality.
So, what makes you beautiful? How can the Lord show you YOUR beauty today?
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