Going to a Christian college can be trying for anyone who ever experiences any kind of negative human emotion. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, there is a sentiment amongst Christians that because we are "Christians" we can never struggle, never have a bad day, never be unhappy. It isn't even a cognitive thought. We just assume this role of false cheer. We all plaster on our smiles and even when tears threaten to rain down, we laugh at the bad Christian jokes and pretend that we aren't hurting, that we aren't broken.
This week has been tough. A combination of outside factors and some tough news from home left me feeling completely despondent. It was so easy to ignore the negative emotions building up within me. To keep the smile and pretend like everything was okay, but faithful, as always, God surrounded me with a couple of fantastic women who encouraged me beyond expression. They pulled my head upon their shoulder (or lap) and rubbed my back when the stress and sorrow overwhelmed me. When I just couldn't plaster that smile on again. They challenged me, when I longed to withdraw and play pretend, they dared me to be real. To be who I was in each moment, if that person was laughing, then I ought to laugh loudly. If that person was crying, I ought to wail fully. They assured me over and over again that they loved me in that moment. That they honored and respected my tears just as much as they rejoiced and delighted in my smile. But mostly, they lead by example. It is an amazing thing when two friends can come together and be truly transparent with one another. When they can sit together and feel completely comfortable revealing their current needs, their current desires. And what a blessing when we entrust our friends to care for us! What joy we possess when they come through! This is true friendship, that when we ask our friends how they are and they respond transparently that they are not well, they are not okay... that we have the privilege of loving them fully, as they are.
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