I will be spending a lot of time this summer with a three year old boy. Like most boys, he has an occasional temper tantrum. Not having truly worked with three year olds in 2+ years, my patience has significantly decreased. It may seem silly, but I forgot the reasoning capabilities of a 3 year old. So we have spent the last few days acclimating to the other's communication style. In this acclimation, I stumbled across this wonderful phrase. At a certain point in this boy's temper tantrum, he ceases to hear what is actually being said because he is "really upset." That is when I told him to take a minute to calm down. He stopped whining and calmed himself down, this opened the door to more communication (still limited, after all he is a three year old, but more). Sometimes we had to take several minutes, sometimes just knowing he was heard was enough. As I thought about this phrase this afternoon, I wonder if I take a minute for myself.
As an adult with reasoning capabilities relatively greater than that of an average three year old, I often find myself skipping the transition phase and jumping into fix it mode. I admit it, I am a fix-it kind of girl. The sink is broken, give me google, a screwdriver, and a little time. This fix-it mode comes in handy with sinks but it doesn't work with deep wounds.
I need to take a minute and process. I need to give it the validity and grief it deserves. The reality is there isn't always a fix. When I turn to my earthly father and feel the heart broken disappointment, my immediate response is to fill that hole. Find someone or something to make it feel better. I bounce around incapable of understanding what God is saying to me because I am "really upset". I have to admit that in reflection, my emotional self acts far more like a three year old than a nine-teen year old. I wonder if God is asking me to take a minute. To calm myself down. To stop blindly stumbling along, upset and hurting, and instead process.
I'm not under the illusion that taking a minute will make the wound better. Sometimes there is still plenty to be upset about, sometimes the tantrums don't end there. However, my prayer in life is that as I grow and mature I am constantly seeking to be able to communicate more with God. I'm not always going to like his answer, but maybe, after taking a minute, my dialogue with God would open even the slightest bit.
So the challenge is are you taking a minute? Should you be?
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