Step Sixty-Four: Why don't we talk to them?

Dear Readers,

Last night, I was listening to one of my peers talk about her experiences in Cambodia. Some of you may well know this, but Cambodia is one of the top countries involved in sex trafficking, especially children sex trafficking. In fact, in one small village Soltek, the entire economy is rooted in sex trafficking. As my peer was talking about these precious little girls, I was moved. These were real pictures or real children, children who came back beaten, raped, and hurting. Or to quote my friend "these aren't pictures of little girls like those being trafficked, these are the little girls being trafficked." She went on to explain that trafficking exists because of the demand for it and how this demand is fueled primarily by foreign men, primarily rich white men.This got me thinking. Then she mentioned how at night, they would be at a restaurant and at the next table was a white man and all she could think was "I know why you are here, I know what you're doing at night." She then said she didn't know what to do with that. That is when this wretched thought entered into my mind: why don't we talk to them? I hate this thought. It requires that I publicly say that we need to love pedophiles.... yet, truth is truth. We are called to the cause of orphans. We are called to love those sweet children who have been violated in ways that are not okay. But they are easy to love. Anyone can feel the child's plight and everyone should. But for as many sexually abused children get rescued out of that world, for as many as we "save" from that life, there is another parent eager to sell their bodies, another customer ready to buy, another child in need of saving. The sad reality is that we cannot just address the children in sex trafficking. We need to start addressing the violators, to start addressing the parents who are selling their children.

It would be so easy to urge you all to donate money, to take missions trips, to open your hearts and your arms to those sweet girls. Yet, within my own heart, there is a tightening when I mention opening your hearts and arms to those men. My stomach churns at the thought. How can I ask this of you? How can I ask this of myself? Yet, here I am. We need to love these men. In no way am I suggesting we justify their actions. No number of excuses will justify these men's choices to violate those sweet smiling faces. That will never be okay. But consider this: the majority of those pedophiles were sexually abused. Once upon a time, they were those sweet smiling faces. When did their smiles morph from being a child's broken innocence into a monster's leer? When they ceased to be small? When they grew up? When they first acted out their wounds on someone else? The answer is never. They are human. Yes, a broken and flawed human, but also a needy and terrified human. A human doing what they were taught. If we want to stop sex trafficking, we have to stop the demand. Paul reminds us that it is easy to love our friends and hard to love our enemies but here is the harsh reality of our call today: it is easy to love those children and it is hard to love those pedophiles but we are called to love both.

I'm not sure what to do with this thought. I'm not. Should I fly to Cambodia, hang out in the brothels, walk the streets of Soltek at night? I don't know. But my question to you, my question for my friend, and most importantly my question for myself is if I meet that man, if I am at the table beside his, why don't I talk to him?