Having recently been in the labor room with my sister and having witnessed the adjusting of two families to a new baby, I have come to an uh-duh realization. Love takes work. A lot of work. Let's start with the whole emotion of love thing. Some people automatically feel love, others need time to develop that bond. But move beyond the whole feeling love thing, I am talking about the act of loving.
After a baby's birth, there exists what I call "baby fever" where, for whatever reason, people are obsessed with this amoeba-like, boring but oddly cute kid. In this fever, people tend to forget the more functional version of humanity, pushing them aside... in other words, they are replaced. Now in a dysfunctional home, this replacing is never fully corrected and resentment and tension builds and builds. This, for the record, is not love to either the baby or the forgotten. In reality, it is a selfish desire to ogle, reminisce, and otherwise daydream without putting in any real time or effort. (That, by the way, is not meant to minimize a mother's exhaustion or to belittle the amount of work a newborn is.) In a healthy home, mom and dad fight for all of their kids. They make it known that all children are loved, cherished, and delighted in. They deliberately seek out time to spend together alone and as a family. Their day does not end until all needs have been met. This is a labor of love, that they wake for hungry babies, scared children, and still have enough energy in the morning to to get going. In this love, they foster relationships between all and encourage growth as a family without sacrificing the heart of the individual.
Love is hard work. It just is. Those who love, truly and selflessly love, work harder than any one. Love far exceeds emotions. It is a choice. A choice that must be made over and over. A choice to sacrifice that which is dear for the sake of another. A choice to continue when all others have stopped. Love is a mother's hugs that do not stop and a Father's pride that knows no end. From the dawn of time, from the creation of man, love has always been, and will always be, a choice. Just as God yearns for us to choose Him, we yearn to be chosen.
So here it is, in simple english: put your love into action. Don't just say "I love you," let your love guide your actions and be your strength to endure. Let your heart grow and overflow with love; let your life be nothing less than a testament to that love you carry.
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