I was taught that anything that made you vulnerable, made you weak, and weakness would not be tolerated. I grew up thinking that showing emotions, needing other people or things, expressing what you want, think or feel were all signs of great weakness, fatal weakness. I cannot say that doing any of these things make you strong, but I can say that all of these things are very human, and, though we try, we cannot outrun them.
I have spent the last few nights at a friends, sleeping better on their couch then I ever do in my own bed, waking up to find one of my favorite little boys eager to cuddle. It is a nice homey feeling. A feeling of being wanted, cherished, adored. A reminder of unconditional love. But all sleep overs must come to an end. So as I crawled into my own bed last night, wishing I could be curled up on their couch, I texted my friend. I told her that I wished I could be at their house for my morning snuggles. She responded with "Wish that too."
So here is my challenge: have desires and voice them! Voicing them doesn't mean you will get them, I woke up this morning in my own bed without an eager little boy waiting to say "Hi Lala!" But just speaking them, giving them validity, makes them so much better. It was no longer a secret wish that I felt shame for because it isn't the "normal" persons wish, instead it was one of those quiet bonds that united my friend and I because we shared the same wish, even if we could not control it. I cannot say that voicing your desires makes you a stronger person but it was worth it to me, is it worth it to you?
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